She's Really a Good Nurse...

"She makes everyone miserable, but she's a good nurse."

"I know he can be rude, but he's really good with patients!"

"Try to ignore her comments, she picks up lots of extra shifts!”

"If I fire him, we won't get another position approved for months!"

"He speaks like that but I think it is a cultural thing."

"You know our HR, they won't let me fire anyone!"

The list goes on and on... the excuses we tell our teams (and ourselves) to justify why we as leaders continue to tolerate the disruptive behaviors that are making every one miserable.

We reward our most toxic nurses by tolerating their behaviors! We harm our best nurses by forcing them to tolerate the behaviors too! Have you ever wondered how many great nurses have left because they were tired of the incivility, and more so, frustrated because their leader wouldn't address the incivility permeating the workplace?

Every year, most organizations conduct employee engagement surveys. That one chance annually where everyone gets a vote. How many times has your team spoken up, has clearly said...disruptive behavior on my unit is not addressed, and yet another year goes by and it still persists. The only thing worse than asking for feedback is getting it and then doing nothing with it. We write the required action plan, we intend to fix it, but then we get busy, and then the next survey comes along, and what?? Repeat, repeat!.

We ask our team to speak up, then we are upset when they tell the truth, that we as leaders do not address disruptive behaviors...that we do nothing to end incivility. While we tolerate a work environment full of toxic behaviors, we say/expect/demand that our teams treat patients with "courtesy and respect." We need to focus on ensuring that our teams are treated with courtesy and respect.

There is a direct correlation between leadership and staff behavior. Passive leadership promotes incivility, active leadership eliminates it!

I have never found a single company write in the job description - must tolerate crazy colleagues who are uncivil and occasionally or even frequently will yell at you and/or disrespect you, or let you do most of their work. Yet, it is what we expect, tolerate, and allow!

The sobering reality is, as leaders, toxic behavior on our units and in our buildings falls on us and us alone. If it is occurring (and more than likely it is), the reason it is happening is because we have allowed a culture to flourish in which this type of behavior is ignored, tolerated, accepted, and rewarded and there is no accountability for it.

Sometimes it is because we are chasing dashboard numbers...trying to keep the turnover low, trying to reduce overtime, trying to get good engagement scores! And yet, those numbers do not consistently trend towards success. Sometimes we temporarily make the numbers, sometimes we don't. Have you every stopped to wonder if those same toxic people who are driving everyone crazy could possibly be the reason your dashboard is suffering. It could be the reason you cannot consistently achieve goals.

Negative Attitudes + Disruptive Behaviors have never achieved success! If you think you are tired of incivility, ask each member your team if they too are tired of it. Then, do something about it. Take a stand! If you are ready to end incivility, I can help you! I can show you how to implement a zero-tolerance plan that eliminates incivility and ensures that it doesn't return! #EndIncivilitytoday #yournursesdeserveit #yourpatientsdeserveit #youdeserveit