Got Incivility? "F" It!!!!

Ahhh, the 80/20 world – 80% of your time dealing with the 20% of low-performers, the uncivil ones that are making the rest of the team crazy… Maybe it is only 10%, maybe only 2 or 3 or 4 – the toxic posse! I finally had enough and decided to take the “F-It” approach. No worries, this is a professional site – and we must always take the high road!

“F-It” is a five step conversational series to help your uncivil staff members embrace their purpose, envision what makes them happy, and helps you lead them to achieve what is best for all. F-It is a series of conversations and coaching to help the most disruptive and uncivil figure out where they belong. Would be nice for all if it could happen in five hours or five days, but they didn’t become incivility experts in that short period, nor will they reach recovery from incivility in that same time frame.

FEEL-IT – FIX-IT – FAKE-IT – FIND IT – FREE-IT

“F” Conversation #1 – FEEL IT! We are healthcare. People come to us so we can help them regain or improve their health status. Some employees are confused and forget that patients are not an interruption to our job, patients are our job! Many “daily disruptors” somehow missed that memo. Showing these employees their job description, where patient care is defined, may help. Encourage those who exhibit incivility on the reg to feel empathy and compassion for the fact that they are working in an environment that should be healing, supportive, and humble. Help them understand what feeling it should look like – speaking in soft tones, smiling, offering kind words of support, and educating patients about the conditions and the treatments related to their diagnosis. In other words, basic kindness and what they would want/expect for their family members.

This is a discovery period for some. They may have been uncivil for so long that they don’t even realize that their behavior is wrong. Some may be a “doctor-favorite” person. The one who although making everyone around them miserable is seen as “protected” because he/she is Dr. XXX’s favorite nurse. There may be rumors that this person is “untouchable”. Other disruptors could be acting out because the previous leader protected them or favored them or said, “Yes, I know she is like that, but she is a really good nurse”.

The incivility displayed by these employees may have become their norm. For whatever reason, they exhibited incivility and it was tolerated. For them the FEEL-IT conversation may seem like a foreign language, something they have never heard, something they have never practiced! Remind your uncivil team members that their coworkers are dealing with the same situations as they are, just using a more positive approach. Remind them that they chose a challenging profession, and that we are front-line to the healing process. Remind them that this is a hard job but also a job they agreed to perform. Sometimes this conversation fails – it is beyond the capability for some, who for them, incivility has become their “norm”. If this conversation fails, moving on to conversation #2 is required.

“F” Conversation #2 – FIX IT! This is the conversation when you as the leader informs your uncivil employees that whatever it takes, they have to figure out how to fix their behavior! Encourage them to put their skills to good use doing things that will benefit the team and the patients instead of being offensive and rude. Suggest that rather than start each shift by rolling their eyes, complaining that we are understaffed, and commenting that it is another sucky day, to try a more productive approach. Tell them to say “bless, we have volume – which means we are not getting cancelled and can save our PTO for vacations." Encourage them to smile at their coworkers and say, “We’ve got this.” Tell them to take their assignment, start making rounds and start doing their job.

Clear up any confusion that may exist. Remind them that if they are wondering if they really have to work, the answer is YES! Give them information that may help and let them take time and think about what work looks like. Explain that W-O-R-K is a job, something we get paid to do…and remind them that that is where they are. Tell them to envision the alternative – Ask them how their life would look without this job and the pay and health insurance and other benefits that come with it. Offer up the EAP (employee assistance program) – tell them to reach out to HR or talk with their family about their situation. If that doesn’t work, move on to conversation #3!

“F” Conversation #3 – FAKE IT! Faking it should not be that difficult. Tell them since they can’t feel it or fix it to just show up, clock in, do the job they are paid to do (the one they agreed to do when hired), and then clock out. At that point, they have the option to revert to whatever grouchy, disruptive, uncivil persona that suits them. Once they clock-out, it is their option to…hit the road and start honking at others on the highway, to go home and roll their eyes at their family when asked what’s for dinner, to yell at their spouse or their dog or whoever – and then, on their next scheduled day – to show up again and fake it all over again!

If your disruptive/uncivil employee cannot FEEL IT and cannot FIX IT, as a leader, just encourage/require them to FAKE IT! Even compliment them when they are faking it… for appearing to be compliant with civility in the workplace. This doesn’t mean while “faking” is the chosen path, that these employees cannot still be working on feeling it or fixing it – just bless, on the day-to-day, there is peace and civility for your team. I will say that in theory this is much easier than in practice but “A” for effort. but we are dealing with adults, and they must choose their destiny. If faking it fails or after a huge effort of fake your employee returns to exhibiting incivility - move on to conversation #4!

“F” Conversation #4 – FIND IT! …As in find a new job. Encourage them to find a new job in utopia. Life is short, even for the disruptors…they deserve to be happy! Tell them to look for that unit…the one on the utopian unit or the one at the utopian organization that embraces incivility and meets all of her needs and desires.

Tell them they know the exact one to look for! The one that is never short staffed, the one that gives them the exact assignment of healthy patients desired, the one that lets everyone surf the net for hours, take extended breaks, and embraces a “you do you” plan! The beauty of this suggestion is that …(unfortunately) there are leaders among us who will tolerate disruptive behavior. There are leaders who consider incivility part of the package and are not trying to end it, and this is where your disruptors should apply. Finding a new job can present challenges but again, the disruptors always have the option of FEELING IT, FIXING IT, or FAKING IT and that is under their control! If conversations #1 through #4 have failed, move on to conversation #5. This conversation is no longer in the employee’s hands. This is now the responsibility of you as the leader.

“F” Conversation #5 – FREE IT! At this point in the conversation, it is no longer an employee driven initiative – it is now a leader-driven process. If conversations and coaching to help your employee FEEL IT, FIX IT, FAKE IT, or FIND IT have failed, this employee has clearly told you that he does not want to be part of your team. This is your chance to let your employee know you have heard him, you support his decisions, and your goal should now become helping to free up his future.

This is when all the documentation on the previous four conversations is important. This is when you move to that fork in the road where coaching becomes more crucial, where documentation is required, and where following every step of the organization’s progressive discipline policy will be key.

This is the part of leadership that no one enjoys but – this is what you’re are required to do, it is what you as a leader signed up to do …it is exactly what you are getting paid to do! Ending incivility is a foundation to achieving the care our patients deserve and essential for creating the healthy work environment our team deserves! Take action, be an active leader, and end incivility today!

#YourTeamDeservesBetter, #YourPateintsDeserveBetter, #EndIT, #EndIncivilityToday!