Popcorn Ain't Free!

The smell of popcorn and the loud laughter emanating from L&D was often a frustration for me. While they were eating popcorn and sharing a laugh, I was on the other end of the hall taking care of med/surg patients, poop and all!

When I finally had the chance to work in L&D, I had no idea what I was in for. Hands down, my favorite job in life. I worked with incredibly smart nurses who knew their business. Our unit was old, overcrowded, and usually understaffed, but it was a second home to us. On this unit we laughed, we had potlucks like no other, and we worked really hard. I spent my clinical years there, had my last daughter while working there, and today, 20 years later, I still miss this team and consider some of them my closest friends.

As much as I relish my days working with this team, it wasn’t all love and laughter. If I am boldly honest, that unit, like so many others, struggled with incivility. We did not only eat our young...we mastered uncivil behaviors on multiple levels. We took these skills and incorporated them into our daily activities. Living with uncivil behavior was our norm. Incivility was not part of our orientation, nor was it part of the skills check off list, rather, it was an unspoken reality. In order to survive...you either learned to join in or you moved on. I tend to be a quick learner! Some might say I excelled in eye rolling and sarcasm skills.

I didn’t come to this unit to be uncivil or to be treated in that manner, it just happened! It was our culture. And it was somewhat exhausting. It was this unit and the daily, sometimes hourly, disruptive behaviors that drove me into management. I knew then and know more so now, that disruptive behavior is owned by the leadership team. What is permitted is promoted - we say it, but we don't own it!

As a manger, I actually have the ability to address the incivility without lashing back in the same "survival skills" manner of my staff nurse days. I have the responsibility to create a work environment that clearly says, incivility is not okay! I have the ability to protect my team from incivility and the capacity to make the most uncivil team members understand why their behavior is not only harmful, but will not be tolerated.

I have spent the past 20 years as a nursing leader having zero tolerance for incivility, and holding my teams accountable for their behavior. Why? Because no one agrees to accept a new job with the expectation that he/she will be faced with the disruptive behaviors that permeate many nursing units. I have never seen a job description state "Must be willing to be abused!" Equally important, the patients deserve to be cared for by a team that is civil and compassionate! Research clearly tells us that toxic nursing environments negatively impact patient safety every single day.

Unfortunately, at this point, incivility in nursing is so rampant that many don't even identify it for what it is and often defend it by saying "that's just how it is" or "get used to it or you won't survive." Is there hope? Yes! Is there a cure? There is! Welcome to my blog about ending incivility once and for all.

My hope is that you will find useful info... lessons learned about addressing the behaviors that drag your teams down, cause low scores all over your dashboard, and make your life miserable on the reg! You already have the tools, you just need the support to apply them. Don't let your unit become another statistic of patient harm or another “can you believe how I was treated” story for your nurses. You can be the change! Let’s end incivility today! #Endit #endincivilitytoday